Sex = God’s Superglue for Marriage by Ray Mossholder

Sex = God’s Superglue for Marriage by Ray Mossholder


by Ray Mossholder

The late Italian movie actor, Ricardo Montalban, was once asked by a television talk show host, “You are known as one of the sexiest looking men in Hollywood, and you have a reputation as a great screen lover.  So tell me, what makes a great lover?”  Ricardo answered, “A great lover is someone who can satisfy one woman all her life, and be satisfied by one woman all his life. A great lover is not someone who goes from woman to woman.  Any DOG can do that!”

In a world where sex between singles has become as common as having coffee together, and marriages end most because of one spouse or the other sexually cheating on their spouse by taking someone else to bed, one fact is being grossly overlooked – Sex is intended by God for one thing and one thing only. It is God’s “Superglue” for marriage.

It is easy to think God winks at sexual immorality.  He doesn’t.  He knows those who do go from woman to woman or man to man are missing out entirely on the real joy of sex that He created sex to be (1 Corinthians 7:3-5.)

God designed sex to be His “Christmas present” to a newlywed couple, never to be opened until marriage.  When this gift is opened early it spoils what a wedding night between newlyweds is meant to be. It turns sex instead  into same old, same old; been there, done that. 

For anyone asking, “What could a pure and holy God know about the fleshly pleasures and erotic feelings of incredible sex?” My answer is: GOD INVENTED SEX (John 1:3.)

He who gave Adam a Divine anesthetic and then removed a prime rib and brought him his wife buck naked. They immediately became “one” by having sex (Genesis 2:21-25). And they continued this delightful activity, producing children from their togetherness. Read the entire Song of Solomon (sometimes called Canticles).

And to those who believe Song Of Solomon is simply an allegory, explain to me why God, if he isn’t describing this sex guide for married couples, would He use such a graphic description of sex in the entire book if He simply meant it to be an allegory?

He who Holy Spirit-breathed the R (for righteous) rated book Song of Solomon, making it the centerfold of the Old Testament, has, as the God who never changes, given married couples this explicit instruction manual for their sex life. 

He who told His New Testament believers that “the body of the wife belongs to the husband and the body of the husband belongs to the wife” (1 Corinthians 7:4), and that no married person should misunderstand true holiness by fasting too long and neglecting sex with their spouse – warns that  Satan loves to take full advantage of spouses who prefer fasting over sex (1 Corinthians 7:5.) God knows all about sex and the intense pleasure he intends it to be.

In fact, only Christians can have real torrid sex. Christ reserves it for them. He joyfully puts His powerful creative spice in His believers sex lives when they as husband and wife commit themselves to Him and each other – spirit, soul, and body – and both ask Him to increase their libido every time the two become one.

Hollywood is a place where people rent wedding rings because actors can’t duplicate in real life what they pretend to do on the screen. While the members of the audience salivate and pant over the sizzling sex they are watching, the actors are only faking it. Once the cameras stop, they find it impossible to duplicate the image they’ve acted out. Only Christian actors and actresses can actually revel in the sizzle as well as the steak. 

Real trust and total commitment are attributes available only those who know their security is found in Jesus Christ. They hear His voice and follow Him (John 10:27.) In marriage theirs is a three-fold cord (husband/wife/Christ) not easily broken (Ecclesiastes 4:12.) They know He is the One super-gluing them together in the joy of sex.

Those who don’t know Christ try to grab all the gusto they can and in their minds that almost always  requires many sex partners because no one really satisfies. Their hope is to find someone that “does it right.”  But that hope is never fulfilled because, without honest commitment to  Christ and each other, sex is an unending hunger that is never really satisfied.

Christ IS the fulfillment of life in every area of life. Sex is no exception. He makes the gift of sex available to every one of His married believers. Sex is meant to be unwrapped as often as either wants the other, and God means it to be totally fulfilling.  Only in the will of God will we ever find what He so marvelously designed. Marriage is meant to last a lifetime and so is sex in marriage. Don’t give me that malarky that says “the purpose of marriage is to have children”. I was 69 when I married Georgia, and she was 67. We’ve been married nine years and this may surprise you but so far we haven’t had a baby. But, oh baby, if there’s a 10 in marriage, we have a ten million. …The sweetest music is played on the oldest violins!

Hebrews 11:4 says, “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.”  The original Greek word “undefiled” means “without blemish, complete, full, perfect, sincerely sound, without spot, upright, that which is not dirty, foul, corrupt, or unclean.”  In other words, God declares that only sex between a couple married to each other is pure. 

God didn’t just make Adam a woman, He made Adam a wife, made them both naked, and had prepared them to become “one flesh” (Genesis 2:24).  Adam’s response when he first saw Eve was undoubtedly, “Va Va Va Voom!” And Eve said, “Come here, you handsome thing!”  They enjoyed sex with each other before there ever was such a thing as sin.  “And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed” (Genesis 2:25).

The Bible doesn’t say that Adam was extremely handsome and Eve stunningly beautiful.  In the Garden they had no other humans to compare each other with.  And you can be sure that when God brought naked Eve to naked Adam they only had eyes for each other and they looked at every part of their mate with great joy asking, “What’s that?  Does it feel good when I touch it?”  Their first kiss was an urge on the verge of a merge. 

The completing moment of any Christian marriage is when a husband and wife stand naked before each other and are totally unashamed.  Becoming “one flesh”, according to the Bible, doesn’t happen when a couple prays together, studies God’s Word together, has a lovely dinner together, or goes for a walk together.  All four of these things can romantically draw the couple closer to each other, but becoming “one flesh” like a Christian Adam and Eve can ONLY happen when a married couple has sex with each other and becomes so close if they got any closer they would be on the other side! (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:5; Mark 10:8;  Ephesians 5:31).

The strong warning in I Corinthians 6:16 is, “Or do you not know the one who joins himself to a prostitute is ‘one body’ with her?  For He says, ‘The two shall become one flesh”.  To be pure and undefiled, God says sex is only to be entered into in marriage.  When I say that sex in marriage is the Superglue that holds the couple together, in some marriages, during a season of marriage problems, it is often the ONLY thing that will hold the marriage together while the couple is working to solve real problems in their marriage. 

It is only shocking to the prudish or the fearful that GOD INVENTED SEX.  He designed it as a thrilling expression of love, desire, and fulfillment for both the husband and the wife.  It is an exclusive act to be performed between the two in privacy.  What happens in that privacy is a matter for the husband and the wife to decide together.  God will bless whatever the couple does to bring absolute pleasure to each other. If you doubt my word, read the Old Testament book Song of Solomon.

I Corinthians 7:4 couldn’t be clearer.  “The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does, and likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.”  Lovemaking between a married couple is only at its best when both the husband and the wife feel love for each other after each encounter and are eager to come back for more.  

No real “lover” wants to turn their lover off.  Whatever weakens the enthusiasm and vitality of sex isn’t worth it.  Shaming a mate by forcing them to do what they consider “lewd” or “obscene” will cause them to want to stop sharing their body.  On the other hand, a “prude” has been defined as someone who whispers sweet “nothing doings” in your ear!  The attitude of love that will make both spouses eager for the next encounter is, “I want to please you, Honey.  I want to give you every bit of love I can.  I want you to passionately enjoy my body because it belongs to you” (I Corinthians 7:4). 

Remember: A knowledgeable Christian counselor without a prudish bone in their body can help a couple come to both agreement and fulfillment sexually.  If any recurring pain takes place during lovemaking, a doctor or gynecologist should be consulted.

One of the most dangerous things a husband or wife can do in their marriage is to deny their spouse the joy of sex with them for very long.  This is so true that the apostle Paul stressed in I Corinthians 7:5, “Stop depriving one another except by agreement for a time so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”  There is never any acceptable excuse before God for a married person to have sex with anyone other than their spouse. But the tempter knows how to bring someone else to a husband or wife who feels sexually deprived.  Far too often God’s Superglue is cast aside for a foolish sordid affair.  Heartbreak, despair, and divorce, often follow because both marriage partners failed to follow God’s directions for them

A few years ago a married friend of mine who is in the military received his papers to go overseas.  He and his wife knew that he would most likely be gone for two years.  Many tears from both of them fell as the day approached for him to leave.  On the final night I was with them for dinner, we talked about what this long lapse of time would mean for them sexually.  I’ll never forget his words.  He said, “I love the New Testament.  Recently it dawned on me that almost every Christian who wrote it, except for Peter, was single, None of them gave in to sexual temptation no matter where they went.  Christ kept them focused on Him and it was enough.  I know He’ll do the very same thing for Julie (his wife) and me.”  She agreed.  A little short of two years later he returned to his wife.  They’d both waited eagerly for each other.  Two months later we met again for dinner and they talked openly about the joy of their sex life.  Both agreed, “It’s better than ever,” and I knew they meant it because of the huge smiles on both of their faces. Christ’s grace was sufficient.  The Superglue had held.

Sex = God’s Superglue for Marriage by Ray Mossholder